1/21/10 - Nervous Eating

1/21/10

OK, so I lost track.

Admittedly, I'm about to use a couple stupid excuses for not keeping track of my caloric intake with any kind of accuracy. But, the last few days, unless I'm missing something drastic, for 4 out of 5 days I was hovering around 2200 calories.

Unfortunately for Wednesday, Thursday, and Tuesday, this was not the case.

One behavior I know I have an issue with is nervous eating. Whenever something bad happens, or when I'm under pressure at work or school, my food intake goes up exponentially. I'll snack a lot. I'll eat single slices of cheese. I'll drink huge amounts of soda. Basically I will do everything you shouldn't do when you're trying to lose weight.

I've heard of support groups and things like that for nervous eating, and as I am a recovering addict, I probably should attack this behavior like I would an addiction. It's not like I'm enjoying food when I eat like that. I'm sure Freud would have a field day with the oral fixation part of it.

Maybe I should go get a self help book. I know they're out there I just haven't really looked into working on this particular ailment.

Caloric intake for 1/20/10: 2216 calories

101 things in 1001 days

There's been a rash of these going around, so why not jump on this bandwagon. It's in the spirit of trying to remake myself.

The Challenge:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple challenges such as New Year's resolutions or a 'Bucket List'. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips, study semesters, or outdoor activities.

1. Get a better job. One with a stable schedule, health insurance, and a steady predictable paycheck

2. Get a car

3. Move out of Mom's

4. Resurrect my podcast or rejoin WSIA as a volunteer

5. Finish reading the Dark Tower saga

6. Transfer all my old home movies to dvd

7. Go to Disney World.

8. Go to the holocaust museum

9. finish off paying my credit card debt.

10. Go to the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame

11. Go to one NHL playoff game.

12. Explore options and enroll into a retirement fund.

13. Get a new prescription for eyeglasses

14. Get teacher's certification in New York State or New Jersey, or both.

15. See all 10 films that are nominated for the best picture Oscar.

16. Celebrate 3 years, and 4 years, respectively, clean from abusing prescription pain killers.

17. Lose 80lbs.

18. Rejoin a gym

19. Get an exercise regimen

20. Stick to it (re: 19)

21. Go on another cruise

22. Write at least one article a month for Bleacher Report.

23. Keep this blog going regularly until I reach my weight goal.

24. replace my xbox 360.

25. Keep the same phone number for 1001 days.

26. Get the panasonic DVCAM deck I have repaired.

27. Replenish my savings account.

28. Renew my CASAC.

29. Re-enroll in CSI's education department.

30. Learn Motion.

31. When I am living on my own, cook for myself at least 5 nights a week.

32. Add to my cookbook and explore publishing options.

33. Get better with Photoshop.

34. Explore freelance journalism options as far as hockey and music coverage goes.

35. Stop playing with my Blackberry during dinner and during conversations.

36. Drink only one can or 20 oz. bottle of soda per day.

37. Play piano a minimum of 30 minutes per week.

38. Relearn Bridge Over Troubled Water

39. Revisit the acoustic thing with Brian.

40. Get one paying client to hire us to play at their event.

41. Visit Al and Alice in Washington, DC.

42. Celebrate Towel Day.

43. Re-read Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy

44. Read Dracula with Celia

45. Take more video during family and friends' functions and edit a year end highlight reel.

46. Use above dvd as a Christmas card for 2010.

47. Write a story/treatment for Marty to adapt to a screenplay.

48. Only eat red meat once a week.

49. Return to Las Vegas.

50. Either get in contact with my natural father or find another way to resolve those feelings.

51. Go through my itunes and delete media that I will never use.

52. Actually edit a reel.

53. Complete an air check.

54. Complete my name change.

55. Get a new keyboard.

56. Get a new christmas cactus.

57. Join a soccer league. Indoor or outdoor - doesn't matter.

58. Get hockey skates.

59. Go ice skating.

60. Take photos of my dad's paintings

61. Get in contact with a dealer or gallery.

62. Get my dad's art shown.

63. Volunteer my time at a YMCA or community center as a peer counselor.

64. If they do, in fact, go on tour, see Roger Waters live at Yankee Stadium.

65. See a Yankees-Red Sox game.

66. Go to the New York Aquarium.

67. Go to the Baltimore Aquarium.

68. Go to the Bronx Zoo.

69. Go the the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

70. See a performance at the Met Opera House.

71. See Wicked.

72. Get a dslr.

73. Start working on a photography portfolio in order to have a show.

74. Get to the shore at least four times during the summer.

75. Create real video media for each song on Abbey Road.

76. Close my account with Citibank and open one at a bank with better hours.

77. Be on time with 12 consecutive credit card payments.

78. Finish this list.

79. Meditate at least twice a week.

80. Learn better relaxation techniques.

81. Get the Lego Death Star and build it.

82. Record a riff track for Star Wars or one of the Lord of the Rings movies.

83. Play Texas Hold Em in AC only once.

84. Start a no money required friends' poker night once a month.

85. Teach myself two new songs on piano.

86. Write one piano composition.

87. Transcribe White Shades to ledger paper.

88. Record White Shades.

89. Go through box of tapes from radio days and label them correctly.

90. Pay off fine traffic from East Orange, New Jersey.

91. Start saving for a house.

92. Get a actual pro style Rangers jersey with my name and number on the back.

93. Contact my cousin Rick.

94. Train a replacement at my current job.

95. Grow and maintain a rose bush or balcony flower box.

96. Stop drinking red bull, or other energy drinks, for 12 consecutive months.

97. Stop eating tacqitos.

98. Learn how to make my Mom's bbq pulled pork.

99. Host and cook for a Thanksgiving Day dinner.

100. Go to an NHL Winter Classic game.

101. Get "The Slut" repaired.

Number 56 and number 78 are done already. I'll update you, faithful readers, as needed.

Talk about dinner!

I was on a pretty good track yesterday.

I had a low calorie breakfast. And I had significantly reduced my snacking. Then I did the dinner-and-a-movie thing with the mother unit.

I suppose I made better choices. Instead of having a bag of reese's pieces (my usual pain of choice at the concession stand), I had pretzel bites. I still split the large diet coke, and I know that I need to cut down on soda.

Then came dinner. We went to Chili's, and I ordered fajitas instead of a burger. I kept looking at the calorie totals, and feared for my poor metabolism as I crunched the numbers in my head. It turns out that I got out of there only ingesting about 1700 calories. Interestingly enough, most of those came after splitting a dessert.

I need to figure out this exercise thing sooner rather than later, or all this calorie counting is going to be for naught. Which means I'm going to need to do it in the morning and at night. As anyone who knows me for longer than a week has gathered, mornings and I really don't get along very well. I'm going to need to overcome my love of sleep and reorganize that part of my life to make this work.

It's like this. As if losing weight was not a hard enough task to accomplish, I also need to wake up earlier, and then, to make matters worse, overcome my urge to gravitate to the couch and watch tv in the evening. Wow. Do I know how to pick my fights or what? Let's just redesign the wheel, or invent teleportation while I'm at it.

A couple of days ago, I mentioned that I needed to research how much went into a night of "serious drinking." Today, I bring you the results of that investigation.

A pint of Smithwick's lager (my tap beer of choice) has about 175 calories. I have ingested an average of 6 of those on a given night. That totals 1050 calories. In addition to that, I will have about four shots of Jamison's Irish Whiskey. A 2 oz shot is 138 calories. That's 552 calories. That's a grand total of 1602 calories. Add dinner on top of that... And keep in mind I weight dinner heavily as far as caloric intake goes... I would say that most of those nights are probably 3000 calorie affairs.

And for some reason, all I hear is Weird Al's voice singing "This is Why I'm Fat"...

Given, that may be too harsh. The idea of this is to turn my health and wellness habits into a positive rather than a negative. It is all a matter of outlook. As I press ahead, and I continue to clock my normal intake, all I'm doing is getting a clearer picture of what it is I need to change. No one ever said that this would be easy.

I need to figure a way to do this so that my subconscious doesn't feel deprived. That's the true path to success. That's also very difficult because I do like a variety of tastes. I'm sure there's a way.

Caloric intake for 1/10/10: 2557 (321g carbs, 109g fat)

Where does it all come from?! 1/10/10

I just don't get it.

I have a pretty low end breakfast. I had chex with milk and coffee.

And at the end of the day, I have still broken 3000 calories. Hell, the trip to Five Guys wasn't even that bad.

So what got me yesterday? Soda. Always soda. Every single time I walk into Five Guys, I just must have Mr. Pibb. It must happen. Again, I'm left with my own poor choices. The other concern I am beginning to have is that I do tend to snack a lot. During the Jet game it was a handful or two of these hard salted pretzels.

It isn't always what I'm eating, either. It tends to be about quantity. The Mr. Pibb would have been ok, but the three subsequent refills were the killer. The Gertrude Hawk caramel apple would have been fine, if I had only had part of it, and stowed it in the fridge for tomorrow, but I just HAD to eat the whole thing.

The interesting thing about this little exercise is that I keep thinking about what I'm eating before I eat it, and I suppose that is exactly why I should have done this long ago.

So, I think I need to start really revisiting my eating behaviors from the ground up. Maybe instead of getting a burger, I should get chicken. Maybe instead of getting the large, maybe I should get the regular. And maybe, just maybe, I need to cook for myself more often.

One more thing: I need to make better choices.

Thus, back into the fray I go.

Caloric Intake for 1/9/10: 3067 (-652 from yesterday)

1/9/10 Poor Choices

It's only my second day and I am getting a better, clearer picture of what my particular problem is.

Simply put: poor choices.

We went to Jose Tejas last night to celebrate one of my girlfriend's friend's new job. I had the chimichurri steak, which is what I normally order, three dos equis amber, and a diet coke. The problem is actually not what I had there, it was the three pieces of hard candy, the large iced coffee, and the grande mocha latte I had during the day.

That totaled almost 800 calories that I really didn't need.

Probably my biggest challenge coming is reducing the amount of caffeine that I intake. If it were a couple of years ago, I would have said the amount of alcohol I consume, but three beers every once in awhile is one thing. A true night of drinking is something completely different. If 3 beers have 670 calories alone, how many calories am I consuming with 7 - 8 pints of Smithwicks and 4 shots of Jamison. That is something I'm going to have to research.

Something else that I'm going to have to change in my lifestyle is my exercise regimen. I looked back in my head to when I felt somewhat better, and I was a regular visitor to the local New York Sports Club. I think it just may be time to join either there or LA Fitness. I hate to say this, but the deciding factor may be what's closer to my girlfriend, since I do spend most of the week there. Again, more research.

I'm trying to change my errant ways. And I feel like I'm getting a clearer picture of what it is that I have to change to be successful in this journey.

Caloric intake for 1/8/10: approximately 3800

1/8/10 The New Journey

So, after feeling like crap for the better part of the last year, I have decided to take a proactive role in my health by making a true attempt at losing weight.

Usually, if I were writing one of these things, it would be about art, movies, music, or last night at the bar, but this time, we're going to start this new experience of blogging with something a little more personal... a little more palpable...

The fact is that I miss the physical me that was around from 1998 - 2003... I've always been a big guy, but then, I felt better and looked better. Hell, I even played indoor soccer from 1999 - 2001. If I tried that today, I would need heart medication and a defibrillator.

I could name all the usual excuses: got older, got lazier, stopped walking as much, stopped playing soccer and street hockey, got depressed, got on anti-depressents, drank too much all the time. I could name 500 different excuses, and even attempt to pass them off as reasons, but, they would still be only excuses.

Another fact: I really like to eat. I enjoy different flavors and I'm a pretty damned good cook. I also enjoy eating out. Which wouldn't be so bad, but I end up eating out 4 - 5 times a week, and I don't always have time for a sit down meal. As we all do, I end up at wendy's, ordering from the .99 cent menu, or ordering chinese food at 8:30pm at night.

It's mildly distressing to me that I have reduced myself to that. There has to be a better way.

So, I got into a conversation at work yesterday about this guy who lost 127lbs simply by removing 1000 per day from his diet. He wrote a blog about it. I have not read it. I have no idea where to find it, and I really haven't had the motivation to look.

I started thinking about it, though. I said to myself, "Self, I've done this before. I reduced myself to 2000 calories per day at one point and dropped the Freshman 85 lbs I gained at my first year at Gettysburg College." I can do this. I can reduce my diet by 1000 calories. That's easy.

So, today I have started clocking my normal diet, and I'm going to do so for the next 7 days. After that, I will see where I can reduce things. Then I get to stick to it. In this space, I'm going to keep a public diary of my exploits, which will include a total of calories for the day. I guess this is one more reason to be attached to my blackberry, because that's where the stats are coming from. Thank god for free 'berry apps.

I have no idea whether anyone will actually read this or not, but, so be it. I need to do this for me.

Starting weight: 339 lbs

Caloric intake for Thursday 1/7/10: Approximately 2800 calories (125g fat, 361g carbs)